GARFELDI. A MYTH TO MOST FOLK

his entire lore is that rook got him at an auction for 2 dollars and he has an entire cult based around him but because rook treats him awesome sauce and complies to his every word he doesnt care. he may act evil and fucked up though. dont wander too far from the cabin you stupid FUCKS

JESUS CHRIST. THE ACTUAL GUY

jesus christ is like the actual guy depicted in the bible, he was once married to satan for a period of time before getting a divorce. most demons hate his ass because satan got petty and lied about him

FRAPPE'S NOTE: my version of jesus (ie depicting him to be a... gay divorced man? what?) can be argued to be blasphemy, and that "im going to hell" for this. i dont give a fuck. my depiction of jesus and this entire thing is satire.

SATAN. "I AM THE DEVIL FROM THE BIBLE"

satan the devil from the bible is jasons dad and is kinda a loser because hes a divorced dad and crashed out on twitter dot com saying jesus is this jesus is that but jesus didnt give a fuck about it and instead made him look stupid. jesus likes boyfailures but not waffles. what the fuck!!

FRAPPE'S NOTE: same thing said about jesus, if depicting satan to be jesus's ex husband is so wrong in your eyes then youre being too woke im sorry. actually no im not, you guys would be glad im depicting him to be gay since gay people are wrong in your eyes.

QUEEN ELIZABETH. BACK FROM THE DEAD

frappe keeps reviving her from the dead and everytime she comes out the ground frappe shoots her point blank, does she like british women or is it actually on accident we may never know